Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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