Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
