On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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