He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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