I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
