you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize