I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
