accomplished twins. life is a go
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
