I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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