I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
