I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There's always time for handjobs
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
