There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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