So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
