No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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