I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
