thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
