kristin has been a bad kristin
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
