I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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