If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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