By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
