that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
