I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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