Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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