guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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