the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
