if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
