Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
4 words: hood of his car
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
