My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
