i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
