Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
