Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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