Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize