I'm going to jail i love you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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