he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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