Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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