Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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