ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
