Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize