best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
