sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Are we still banned from the library?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
