your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
