omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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