I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
