I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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