I met the friendliest cop last night
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Use "feeling words"
Yay
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
