first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dicks are not precious.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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