She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
