I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
