I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
