It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
