Nicole vs. Life
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
