My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
