we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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