I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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